So it’s Passover time, thus I am heading home to Baltimore for the 2 Seders. So I arrive at the airport about 2 and a half hours ahead of time and go to the park and save. Now I didn’t realize just how far away the park and save actually is….it is a good 20 minutes away from the airport, in the middle of nowhere…..and I even saw a gunrack on a volkswagon. I didn’t think I had traveled that deep into redneck country, but apparently…I DID!
Then I get to the airport, and boy oh boy, that’s where the fun starts. You see security really just SUCKS, I have travelled before with a knife in my carryons that I just forgot, and this is post 9-11. So today I go up to security, take my belt off, and anything that would set off the machine. I leave my watch and necklace on because well, they have never set off the machine, Silver and Titanium, the metal detector doesn’t actually catch that….GREAT! So I’m walking through the machine and well BAM! BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP…..”Sir did you forget any metal objects?” Cue me taking off the watch and necklace, Walk through again! BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP…”Sir I need you to step over here”….GREAT! So I go into the screening area, and the Guard has me sit down, checks the bottom of my feet, and begins to wand me. Goes over me 4 fucking times with the wand, trying to find out what the hell could be setting off the machine, the only possibility is my zipper, but the wand never goes off over my zipper. Then the patdowns begin….OH JOY! Nothing I love better than getting patted down. In the end, the security guard has no fucking clue what set off the machine, sends me on my way, and then I get questioned by all the other TSA guards on what actually set it off. I feel GREAT now!
