The Waffle

So it’s Passover time, thus I am heading home to Baltimore for the 2 Seders. So I arrive at the airport about 2 and a half hours ahead of time and go to the park and save. Now I didn’t realize just how far away the park and save actually is….it is a good 20 minutes away from the airport, in the middle of nowhere…..and I even saw a gunrack on a volkswagon. I didn’t think I had traveled that deep into redneck country, but apparently…I DID!

Then I get to the airport, and boy oh boy, that’s where the fun starts. You see security really just SUCKS, I have travelled before with a knife in my carryons that I just forgot, and this is post 9-11. So today I go up to security, take my belt off, and anything that would set off the machine. I leave my watch and necklace on because well, they have never set off the machine, Silver and Titanium, the metal detector doesn’t actually catch that….GREAT! So I’m walking through the machine and well BAM! BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP…..”Sir did you forget any metal objects?” Cue me taking off the watch and necklace, Walk through again! BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP…”Sir I need you to step over here”….GREAT! So I go into the screening area, and the Guard has me sit down, checks the bottom of my feet, and begins to wand me. Goes over me 4 fucking times with the wand, trying to find out what the hell could be setting off the machine, the only possibility is my zipper, but the wand never goes off over my zipper. Then the patdowns begin….OH JOY! Nothing I love better than getting patted down. In the end, the security guard has no fucking clue what set off the machine, sends me on my way, and then I get questioned by all the other TSA guards on what actually set it off. I feel GREAT now!

Naples I have to say has been quite fun, as the last night I shall spend here is wrapping up, I have come to some realizations…specifically….as nice as hotels are…they fucking suck. Every time I stay at a hotel I can’t wait to get back to my own bed, or even the floor….something about hotels makes it so I am actually unable to sleep well. I’m really not sure, but it pisses me off. I keep hoping that one day I’ll find that hotel that well….makes me go DAMN I gotta come here more often so I can sleep well. In truth, I got my best sleep out by the pool and out on the beach.

For anyone who does ever come out to Naples, be sure to visit the Naples Zoo….totally worth it. two great attractions to see are Leopard Rock and the Monkey Island tour.

Leopard Rock….kinda self explanatory, except….well you are about 1 inch from the Leopards if they come up to the glass. Seriously….when you approach, the Leopards usually come up to the glass out of curiosity, and then you are only separated by 1 inch of glass. It’s kinda cool actually.

Monkey Island….well that’s basically a boat tour of a small group of islands, and on each island is a different grouping of primates. Starting with Gibbons, then going to Spider monkeys, then Lemurs, and more Lemurs, and then more Spider monkeys, and well you get the idea. The greatest thing about it is that well….you could be as few as 10 feet from the monkeys, with no cages/glass to inhibit your viewing pleasures. These monkeys also seem a shitload happier, can’t explain HOW it seems like such…but it just does.